i'm such a depressed person lately

life sucks. and i know it's my fault. i can't make myself focus on things that are important, such as studies. for example. now. i'm here blogging when i should be working on my tutorials. maybe i shouldn't drop MA2101 cos it's only a mark of how lazy i've become. it's depressing. i mean, i want to start my work, but i just can't focus long enough to get stuff done properly. i could barely drag myself to type this post. church stuff sucks. he's being illogical and unreasonable again and i'm dreading having to face him tomorrow. who knows what might happen. i hated myself for practically breaking down in front of everybody. i don't cry when i'm sad, i cry when i'm totally absolutely frustrated. i hate my life. someone get me out of it. i wish i'd just go to sleep and not wake up. haiz. there is no light on the horizon. nothing excites me, nothing jolts me out of my torpor. or rather, nothing good is able to affect me that much. i hate school. i wish i could just drop out. there's no point in what i'm doing. i don't enjoy my classes. i'm going to fail everything. i just want to put a padlock on time and make nothing have to change ever again. utopia. the place where time does not pass. where things can go on the way you want it to be. where we're all happy with ourselves.

Josh Groban - When You Say You Love Me
Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly I'm falling,
lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words, my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me,
For a moment, there's no one else alive.

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly,
For a moment in time,
Somewhere between
The Heavens and Earth.
I'm frozen in time
Oh, when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment there's no one else alive.

bridge:
And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I
Celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and.
When you say you love me
In that moment I know why I'm alive.

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?



mood: depressed :(
listening to: nothing